Bondage means getting tied up! What happens then?
Maybe another little Show-and-Tell would work here - again. The other
group already did this so to be fair, i guess, we have to do it here too.
Do you have one of those hair schrunchies with you? A rubber band will do.
We are going to do some bondage right now. If he's reading this with you
then ask him to please sit with you for this exercise.
Maybe you feel that it would make you nervious if he stays. Either way is
alright, but we are gonna talk about limits so it would be good if both
partners stayed together. There's not going to be any sex or exposed
bodies. Are you ready?
Take the rubber band or whatever you found and slip your wrists inside of
it. Those of you in the other class help the one's who haven't done this
yet, please. Do not let your partner help you, he can show you how, but
that's all. If it's too loose then twist your wrists to tighten it up a
little. Don't get it so tight that it snaps and hits you on the nose or
something. Stop here and do this before reading on.
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i told the other class that this is
being written as the site crosses the quarter million mark. If i get
another quarter of a million visitors and half are women and they come to
this page does that mean i'll be reasponsable for over 100,000 women being
tied up? We need a tote board...
How are we doing so far? - No touching!
Probably a rush of sensations, right? No sweat. We are just going to
talk and maybe have a demonstration. Please do not remove whatever you
used to wrap around your wrists, but if you have to then you have to.
You are just experimenting...
Lemme get my hands tied too, before someone complains.
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Everyone happy?
Now how do the guys feel?....
i know how i feel!
If you are alone read this to yourself or better yet go get your lover
and share it with him.
This question is for the guys:
"You are at her home with her. Both of you have drank a little
wine, enough to loosen the inhibitions while not getting tipsy. You
have snugled on the couch and it's a good time for bed. You've been
romantic, but you've not made any big moves on her. You're not sure if
you are up to a night of love making or even if she's in the mood.
"She goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable... When
she returns she is wearing an outfit that looks great on her and you
notice that she has her hands tied in front of her, like now...
"She stands in front of you and giggles nerviously. You feel a stirring
and search for words to express how you feel, but before you can get
any words out she gets on her knees in front of you and reachs out to
hold your hand with both of hers. Your eyes find hers..."
Describe to her what you would think and what you would want to
happen next. Discuss this between yourselves. |
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Ok now it's the
girl's turn again.
Did he say anything about hurting you? Did he say he would throw
rotten fruit at you?
i didn't think so...
For those of you reading this alone did you imagine anything negative
that he'd say? Really?
Proof positive that they have no intentions of harming you, right?
Still a non-believer?
Opps, i see a pair of hands raised in the back of the room...
"They could just be saying what you want to hear!"
(Who is that back there?) |
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Do i really need to go back over the
"If you are dating him you are already giving him something just as
valuable as your life, you are giving him your heart"?
No, i mean he could do more than just make sweet love, y'know?
You mean that sometimes he gets a bit wild and if you were tied up
then he might get carried away and do more than you are willing to
let him do. Aha!
This is called negotiation. i've mentioned that before, but let me
hit some high points on it. Negotiation is where you tell him what
you are offering and what you are not offering AND he can do the same
for you, let you know what he wants and hopes for. What you want and
what he wants isn't going to be the same - it'd be too boring if it
was!
Once you get both your points out in the open then you both do a
little give-and-take. There may be some things that are not up for
debate and that's fine. Don't promise to do more than you are
comfortable with - and don't demand that he does either! It's going
to boil down to a compromise.
Keep in mind the bondage credo: Keep it Safe Sane and Consensual!
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Bondage really is " Safe Sane and consensual"!
In case you don't know it, as the bottom (the one being tied) you have
two guarantees that it will come out something like you want it to and
that he won't break his word...
You won't do it again if he goes overboard. Kinda obvious and
i've hit on this already. He should know this already, but if it'll
make you feel better then tell him he'd better be cool.
He wouldn't be a good top. He would suffer the same pangs of
self-doubt that you would if you thought you weren't a good lover OR a
good person!
You want to be a good person, right? A good wife too? A woman? A
lady? You know that you can't be any of those things without being
true to your word. i think guys know this as well. How do you think a
guy would feel if he thought he abused a woman who was all tied up?
When you trust him enough to get tied up for him isn't he going to
respect that? Half the time the problem is getting a guy to loosen up
a bit and have at it! For the ones who get too wild all you need do
is tell them that what he is doing is too much. Bondage will force
you to be honest!
The problem may not be that you don't trust him
-
you may not trust yourself!
And why not? Be as wild and as free as you want to be! i have found
myself terribly restrained before and it nothing at all to do with
bondage! If anything, i like the fact that in bondage, at least, i can
see my restraints - and fight back against them!
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Bondage as an escape:
Have you ever just wanted to be alone and by yourself - just for a
bit?
Bondage isn't always sex. Sometimes it's just being tied up and left
alone - to think, to regenerate, to relax.
Bondage isn't a crutch though. Crutches have a tendancy to make you
weak. i am not a weak person, take my word on this. i have two jobs, go
to school, run this site, keep my man happy, and have time to be tied
up. Follow in my footsteps for a day and i'll probably wear you out!
Do not try to use bondage as a crutch! |
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Ok, there's the bell, class dissmissed!
Ok, everybody get untied! Smoke a cigarette if that's what you do and
straighten up a bit.
We've had some fun talking (and doing) and maybe we have shared a bit.
Talk to your partner, negotiate, keep it Safe Sane and Consensual, and
enjoy life. Wasted time is non-refundable!
 Bondage. If i could bottle it and sell it i'd
be a rich slave!
 Click here for next
in this series!
Remember, we have a test next class! Study with a partner! Practice!
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Ok, both groups together again. 
