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THE SCENE: the handcuffs, rope, or whatever have been brought out and you find yourself in a conversation about them with a man, a lover!

It doesn't matter if you brought up the subject or if he did. The fact of the matter is you are maybe going to get tied up!

[i'm assuming a male dominant situation, because that's what i prefer. You can reverse the rolls any way that suits you/you are wanting to tie him up/you are a guy and you want to tie up the gal or have her tie you up - whatever. We aren't talking gender here.]

Bondage can be dangerous! i don't need to tell you that, i think, but i do need to let you know that i am aware of that fact and that i'm not some Air Head who either doesn't know that or just doesn't care about it - i do! i also know that you now know that i know that bondage can be dangerous. Before you ever got into a conversation with a lover about doing bondage you tried to find out just how they felt about it.

Let's discuss this...

Some men (make that most men) don't know what to do when they have someone all tied up. Some think you want abuse - and they will give you that. Some think you want to be treated like something precious and that's the kind of treatment you will get. Some don't have a clue and, again, you can either be pampered or abused.

The chances of just letting someone tie you up and do "their thing" and having it turn out bad is highly likely! That's why we do something in bondage called "NEGOTIATION".

This is the part where you HONESTLY tell the other person what you expect to happen, what you want, and what you don't want! This is a safety net for you. There are many safety nets in bondage because just about ALL of us realize that bondage can be dangerous. Does this help explain the long intro?

Before you let someone tie your hands behind your back for the first time you have a lot to learn. Of course you can skip all of this if the person really knows you and is really trustworthy and really knows what they are doing. You'll find that the more the other person knows about bondage the more likely that they are going to go slow and be gentle! And they can also be able to 'shift gears' the best if they are going too slow for you.

[SIDENOTE: The person tied up is really the person in charge of what's going on. We try to avoid this, but it's how it comes out. The bottom is in control of the situation. Think about it then read below.]

SAFETY: Here are some safety aspects of bondage to discuss...

• RED LIGHT/GREEN LIGHT
  Works like a traffic light. RED means STOP and GREEN means GO! (There is also a variation that includes YELLOW.) All you do is say, "Red light!" and the action stops - unless you say, "Green light." This gives you one more chance to back out. Expect a session of further negotiation if you do use a Red Light. Sometimes this is used where once a Red Light is encountered the other person will end the session until a later time, this is to keep you from getting Red Light-happy. By the way, the other person is just as able to call Red Light as you.
• TIMED EVENT
  You both get to agree on how long the scene will last. Any time incriment is ok to use. (Times less than a minute or more than a week are kinda rare though.) A good first time is 5-10 minutes.
• LIMITS
  You don't have to have your hands tied behind you! They can be in front, in fact as a first time thing, hands in front is a good idea. The idea is to enjoy yourself. If you are frightened out of your wits then no one is happy.
• DEVICES
  A silk scarf is ok over handcuffs or even instead of handcuffs. You can agree to use some rotten yarn that you can break, if you want. (Words of caution; don't think you can break free if your lover uses thread. You might be able to break it, but it will probably cut you. Beware of duct tape! It can peal your skin and will ruin your clothes!
• SAFE WORD
  Like Red Light above. Pick some word not likely to be said and when you say it then it's just like Red Light.
• FRIENDS
  Not sure if you can trust the guy? Don't trust your own judgement? Just want an extra safety net? Before you begin call up some friends and get them to agree to come over in ten minutes - unless you call them back. Usually you can make up some fib to get them to agree to this.
• PLACE
  Someplace where the walls are paper thin maybe. Use your head. You will find that bondage increases your IQ. No joke! You are tied up and the only way to keep the evil Darth Invader from raping you is to get loose! You can usually figure out a way to get free. When you've had more practice you may realize that you DON'T want to get free!

Classic bondage: you get tied up and are tickled as close to climax as possible - and the other person stops! They let you cool down a bit (yes, you are frustrated) then they tease right to the edge again, and stop! You are really frustrated now! They do it again and again before letting you climax. When you climax you REALLY CLIMAX - like never before - especially if you are still tied up!
Caution to Tops: never do this to anyone without letting them finally climax. Do it one time to me and you'll never see me in your bonds again! Fact!

Spankings are a part of bondage that some people like. Not everyone does it. If you don't think you'd like it then remember to tell the other person.

Bondage is hard to undestand ('cause it's a puzzlement) and spankings are even harder to understand. There is no joy in getting or giving a spanking. Read that again, there is no joy in getting or giving a spanking! So why do it? Afterwards there is joy. You have made up for being late for that date, or crashing up his car, or killing his goldfish by giving them the wrong food. That's kinda ok. Still not to the point. The point is he sees you willing to accept the blame for whatever you did AND accept the punishment! How does that make him feel? Gosh darned good, i expect! So how do you feel about that? Gosh darned good, i expect! It makes a cycle. Not a vicious cycle, but a delicious cycle!

Confussing? Don't go there yet. Wait until when and if you ever become ready for spankings. The hard rule on spankings is to never enjoy getting one or giving one. That's sadism and masochism. i don't go there! i don't know if anyone really does. If someone does and it's a positive thing then i'd be open to hearing about it.

You don't really have to know all about bondage to try it. Just use your head. All you need to know is it will give you the best climaxes ever! The main ingredient for bondage is you, your good sense, and a willingness to try something new.

Bondage is a good thing. It has to be, because it's High-Powered Sex!